When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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