Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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