we're blogging at a bar
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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