I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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