they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
