Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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