batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
