You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
