i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
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