Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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