I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
