my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
