I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
