even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
