OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
