dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
where are you?
Hypothermia
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
