Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
