I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
