google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
