It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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