guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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