Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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