Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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