Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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