the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it glows. i had to have it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
