I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
