this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sext me about skeletons
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
