You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
