Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
