you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
