He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
