It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
