Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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