I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
