Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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