I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
