My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
