I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
