all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize