Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
