I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
