john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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