and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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