Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You were trust falling into bushes
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
