peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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