I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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