NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
