So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I am available for nakedness
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
