Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
