I smell stomach acid.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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