My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
