That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
