That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
