it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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