I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
