she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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