i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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