I want to walk on stilts...naked
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
