She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
